For the Love of the Game!

I try to think back to the way things were when I was a kid and played football and basketball. I remember the joy from the sports I played flowed through me, and my effort was always stellar. I loved the feeling of adrenaline when I had a good game. Over the years we’ve seen an increase in the intensity of the level of play for children, but also an increase in parental involvement. It's good for parents to be involved in their child's development, but sometimes parents can push their children too hard. As a parent you want nothing but the best for your kids, and you want them to do their best. And at times we forget that they are kids that just want to have fun. We as parents should always understand that thin line between being encouraging to your kids and pushing them too hard. We, and yes, I am in this category as well; must understand it’s still a game just like playing any other game that it supposed to be fun. They are to enjoy it and hopefully love playing it. But sometimes as children participate in their sport, it becomes difficult for parents and coaches to find the balance in that it is just a game.

Parents and coaches who push too hard, too young can easily wipe out a child’s motivation to play. One of the worst things that we can do to an athlete is to make them hate their favorite sport. However, that is exactly what all the pressure can do and at times be damaging for a kid both mentally and physically to where their limits can negatively impact their emotional development and damage the parent-child bond. Children with a strong internal drive may thrive on the competition, which is great, but the pressure can be too much for others and cause them to burn out. The likelihood of burning out increases when a child is pushed past their limits in sports, due to Internal factors like perfectionism, fatigue from continued demands or high expectations. These things all can contribute to losing the love for the GAME.

Parents should focus on offering support and encouragement and avoid pressuring them to perform. Let your child know before the game that you don't expect them to be the star player or to be perfect. That should be the case no matter what the outcome of the game is. If a kid is losing every game, but still having a blast, leave it at that. After the game ask questions and be there for your kid if they seem upset after a loss. Try curbing your own expectations. Parents should have constant conversations about how their kids are feeling. Give them the support that they need—different from what a coach could offer. When coaching your own I always ask the question above and I tell him/her what we need to work on and learn from our mistakes. Then, I change hats as a father I say, “I am proud of you.” Weather they play well, if they score or not, we try to celebrate that, too. It's important to applaud the effort. That way, they can carry that effort into everything they do.

Above all, try not to idolize sports and make it their life. As parents, it’s vital that we remember the root of playing a sport is having fun, wanting what's best for our children and for them to be the best they can be. We need to remember that they're kids and they're still developing and the stress parents can put on their kids can quickly become too much for them to handle. So, enjoy the sport, the time, and the memories you make supporting, participation and most of all the love of watching your kid play a sport THEY love.

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